


Angel to the Rescue

by SingingInTheRaiin



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Car Accidents, M/M, Obliviousness, Sexy Nurse Costume, dumb phone game apps, mentions of being discorporated, these two idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-11
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2020-04-24 17:08:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19177708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SingingInTheRaiin/pseuds/SingingInTheRaiin
Summary: When Crowley gets injured, Aziraphale is the one who saves him.





	Angel to the Rescue

**Author's Note:**

> I'm very sorry, but I just don't think that I'm capable of pulling off the style that Good Omens is written in. It's not very compatible with my usual but I tried my best.

“Has it ever occurred to you that I might like having a giant metal pole sticking out of my leg?” 

Aziraphale raised one eyebrow as he gave Crowley a thoughtful look. “It had occurred to me, but I dismissed the idea. Are you forgetting about how much paperwork is involved if you get discorporated?”

Crowley just rolled his eyes. Sure, his current situation wasn’t exactly comfortable, but with how close Aziraphale had to get in order to help, Crowley was pretty sure that it would be safer to just sit there and suffer. Having to deal with Aziraphale’s nearness just caused a whole different kind of suffering, and Crowley much preferred the pain in his leg to… wherever else it could hurt.

But Aziraphale seemed annoyingly determined to help. Maybe it was some kind of weird guilt thing, where he felt like he owed Crowley for all the times that he’d saved his bacon. Or maybe it was some kind of angel thing where he was just supposed to help anyone in need. Crowley gave the angel a long look as he was busy prodding at the injury and trying to figure out the best way to go about all of this. Nah, it was probably just an Aziraphale thing. How annoying.

After a few minutes passed in silence, both of them leaning forward to stare at the injury, Aziraphale suddenly made a loud ‘Ah ha!’ while jerking his head up, and ended up smacking right into Crowley’s. Crowley let out an exasperated sigh as he tipped his head back. “Angel, I know that you’re only trying to help, but I don’t think that giving me another injury is helpful.”

They both stared at each other for a moment, before Aziraphale nodded. “You’re absolutely right. I have a much better idea.” Then he got to his feet and hurried off before Crowley could beg for mercy. Honestly, this was much worse than anything that happened down in hell. 

As Crowley waited for Aziraphale to return, he got bored of just staring at his wound. He pulled out his phone, and began playing one of those little games that humans were so proud of having invented. Crowley had taken credit for them, of course, finding it quite enjoyable to watch as all the small humans stole money from their parents in order to progress further into the games, and all the normally sane adults who snapped at anyone around them the moment they found themselves losing at a level. It was so very entertaining, and honestly, only reinforced Crowley’s idea that demons were useless, because humans were so much more creative than them at coming up with ways to torture each other.

He ended up getting caught up in the game he was playing, so he didn’t realize that Aziraphale had finally returned until the angel made a soft humming noise, and then Crowley slowly looked up from his phone screen. He dropped his phone out of surprise when he saw Aziraphale. “Are you trying to kill me?” he choked out in a strangled voice. Maybe the other angels had gotten tired of Crowley’s existence, and had sent Aziraphale to take him down once and for all.

Aziraphale was standing in front of him wearing what could only be classified as a ‘sexy nurse costume’, and Crowley was amazed that he didn’t just discorporate on the spot from the sight. Aziraphale only looked confused by Crowley’s reaction as he knelt down in front of the demon again. “I thought that we might try a more human approach to fixing this problem. I looked it up on the internet- it’s this amazing invention that allows humans to find any kind of information about anything they want- and I figured out what I need to do to help. According to my research, this outfit is a very important part of the healing process.”

Crowley wanted to point out that he was already well aware of what the internet was, but found that it was quite impossible to do much more than just open his mouth, with his throat being too dry to actually force any words out of it. He just stared with wide eyes as Aziraphale focused on the injury.

After a long moment of consideration, Aziraphale miracled away the metal bar, and then slapped a bandage over the hole in Crowley’s leg. He leaned back, and gave Crowley a proud look. “There, see? You’re all better now.”

Crowley couldn’t even look away from the angel long enough to glance at the injury. He couldn’t care less about his leg at the moment. What were the odds he’d ever be able to see Aziraphale dressed up like this again? It made far more sense to just drink his fill of the sight while he could. If he was going to discorporate, then this was definitely somewhere near the top of the list of best ways to go about it. 

Oh, but of course that couldn’t be the end of Crowley’s torture. Aziraphale’s face lit up. “Oh, there is one other thing I need to do to complete this process! I need to kiss the wound to make it better.”

Surely there was no way that even Aziraphale could be so oblivious? Then again, as Crowley considered everything from the past six thousand years, it was entirely possible. “Don’t,” he managed to croak out.

A look that seemed to be a mix of hurt and confused appeared on Aziraphale’s face. “Do you not want me to kiss you?”

Just the mental image that that question brought to mind made Crowley feel like he was about to explode. Maybe he should just splash some nice, refreshing holy water over his face and be done with all of this. “No! No, I just…” he tried to think of the best way to say it so that Aziraphale could actually understand. “I’m too fast for you, remember?” He still didn’t understand how six thousand years was fast, but he wanted to respect Aziraphale’s boundaries, as much as it pained him to do so.

He thought that that would be enough to make Aziraphale understand the situation better, but instead, the angel just scooted even closer to Crowley, so his knees were touching the side of Crowley’s uninjured leg. “That was decades ago,” he murmured quietly. “Perhaps I’ve had some time to… to catch up. After everything that happened with almost the end of the world, I’ve had a lot of time to think.”

“Oh?”

Aziraphale nodded, and Crowley fought to maintain eye contact, because he knew that he wouldn’t be able to take this conversation seriously the moment that he looked at Aziraphale’s outfit again. “Will you let me kiss it better?”

Crowley gulped, and then squeezed his eyes shut and nodded. He didn’t think he could survive if he actually watched. He waited breathlessly for Aziraphale to kiss his leg, and was completely taken by surprise when he felt lips press against his mouth instead. It took him a moment to understand what was going on, but then he was immediately on board. 

He shifted to try and get closer to Aziraphale, but as soon as he did, he could feel the pain radiate up his leg. “Angel,” he gasped out quietly. Aziraphale seemed to understand without any further explanation- which honestly had to be the first time ever- and he pulled back a little. When Crowley opened his eyes, he saw that Aziraphale had changed back into his usual clothing, and he narrowed his eyes. “You knew exactly what you were doing,” he accused. Though he was far from angry about it, considering the outcome.

Aziraphale chuckled. “Do you want to go somewhere else?” Crowley nodded, because he had no idea what the hell else he could possibly be expected to do in this situation, and let Aziraphale help him back up to his feet. “I’m driving this time, though.” He gave Crowley’s leg and wrecked car a pointed look as time resumed and he helped Crowley limp towards a different, non destroyed, vehicle. “I told you not to do ninety in central London.”


End file.
